A Meditation Story

Plus a surprising benefit I've not seen mentioned elsewhere

Meditation is an activity that has grown in popularity recently despite being practiced for thousands of years. I would guess that this rise of meditation coincides with an increase in the pace of our world, along with a bevy of apps that make it easier to learn how to get started. These factors got me into a meditation habit nearly two years ago.

I’ve shared my experience with a few friends, and I figured this would be a great space to share with many more people. It’s never too late to start, and the sooner you start, the more moments you can enjoy for the rest of your life.

My Meditation Turning Point

For several years, I have been curious about meditation. I knew a few people who raved about their experiences and have read books about Eastern and Western approaches. But it always seemed complicated, “mystical,” and just another “important but not urgent” task to push off.

However, I hit a personal low point in the summer of 2019. I found myself exceedingly stressed at work a year into selling our company. It’s tough to describe the feeling when a business you and your team have built from nothing, that is running on all cylinders, is gradually pulled apart. This also soured my family around me, who were victims of my negative attitude.

I escaped to a Duke University basketball camp in early June for a complete break. Two days in, I broke—well, tore—my Achilles tendon. That ended a daily running streak of 5 years that had helped keep me sane and left me with surgery and months of recovery to follow.

While lying on the couch with my foot propped up and nothing else to do, I decided to take this challenge as an opportunity to make changes. Meditation was high on my to-do list. I installed the Headspace app and began a daily process of following its 10-minute meditation courses, usually right before starting work. The Headspace exercises cut through the “mystical” barriers I had feared and brought the right combination of support with nudges outside my comfort zone. I also downloaded another app, Streaks, that helped me stay true to a daily habit. I used it to teach myself new healthy habits, like lifting weights and cutting after-dinner snacks.

What Changed for Me

When learning anything new, getting some sign that you’re making progress is critical. My first proof of progress in meditation was when someone cut me off while driving. It was a classic jerk move that usually would get my blood boiling for the rest of my commute. But I just let it go. Better yet, I noticed that I just let it go. This change came from one of the recurring lessons in the Headspace catalog: We choose how to react emotionally. Through the lessons, I learned to “watch” my emotions and consider why I felt the way I did. This led to doing some deeper self-analysis going way back in time, and it has become something that I now regularly do.

As I continued my daily practice, I experienced other benefits. The constant voice in my head became quieter. I have become more “present” with people than ever—listening, emphasizing, and laughing out loud. Now when I get cut off while driving, I smile and s“Wow, that was a creative maneuver.”

A core element is to avoid distractions—while acknowledging that distractions are natural. This helps me realize that I shouldn’t beat myself up when I make a mistake or slip into bad habits. Meditation also reminds you to hold a “beginner’s mind” and look at yourself and the world in a fresh way each day. This practice has made me more flexible in my judgments, and I am happy to find myself proven wrong.

I have more appreciation for a good meal and notice things in my daily life that I usually wouldn’t. I gained better clarity in looking at issues at work, made smarter strategic decisions about my long-term future, and was more pleasant to be around at home. I’m sleeping better. And with COVID hitting last year, these changes have helped me adjust.

More recently, I discovered my biggest “aha” in meditation, which I’ve not heard others share: The changes in your mind are permanent. Meditation is often lumped in with physical exercise or dieting as if it’s something that you have to keep doing to realize its benefits. If you stop exercising, you lose muscle; if you stop eating well, you gain weight. But I have found that the mental changes from meditation have carved new, permanent paths in how my brain works.

How do I know this? Because I stopped my usual meditation habit a few months ago, and I’m feeling great. I believe that I’ve learned how to “bake in” the mindset of meditation in my daily moments. Now, I’m in a positive mental state for most of the 1,440 minutes of my day.

What’s Next in My Meditation

I stopped my usual meditation because I wanted something more specific for my life now. The Headspace app is outstanding for learning to settle your mind and visualize. It offers some excellent courses on topics such as improving focus, cutting cravings, and transforming anger. However, I’ve started building and silently reviewing my list of areas where I want to focus my attention and improve. It’s captured on a piece of paper that sits on my desk. Usually, in the morning, before starting work, I close my eyes, take some deep breaths, and then “meditatively” review these points.

In the spirit of transparency and social support I wrote about recently, here’s what I’m working to remember:

• Count your blessings

• Avoid negative attention traps

• Trigger positives in other people

• Live like this is your last day

• Time spent is gone forever

• All news is good news

• Compound the interest in good choices

• Practice relationship responsiveness

• “I” don’t exist

These are probably pretty self-explanatory, but I’d be happy to elaborate if you leave a comment here.

Try Ten Minutes a Day. Please.

Another thing you learn in meditation is that you cannot change other people. However, humans are social creatures, and most of what we know and try comes from trusting the suggestions of others who have been there and done that. So, if you’ve ever been tempted to meditate or resonate with some of the challenges I faced, grab whatever tool is best for you and commit to ten minutes per day for one year. You can do it, and your better self is waiting to be released.