BEST OF: Social Resolution-Only Positive Vibes
Revisiting a 2021 promise to myself
Welcome to the latest entry in The Workaround. You’re in good company with thousands of fellow entrepreneurs and innovators!
I’m Bob, your host. My mission here is to share personal, behind-the-scenes stories of the ups and downs of my career leading tech startups and corporate innovation.
I write to make you think, smile, and discover a shortcut to success or a trap to avoid.
Here we go…
Ahoy, friends! I’ve got friends in town this week, so I’m sharing and updating a “best of” post from a few years ago. I originally wrote this as a New Year’s Resolution in 2021, so looking back and assessing myself was fun. It holds up well today, as many people are redefining their relationship with social media. At the end of the post, I’ve added an update on my progress since…
Welcome to 2021, where eight billion of us are trying to figure out how best to work together in a society that was only recently digitally networked. Together, we are learning in real-time how this deeply alters our elections, pandemics, journalism, friendships, and much, much more. The most recent cause for reflection is the realization that massive social media platforms can be used to spread dangerous falsehoods and inspire violence in our democracy’s hallowed halls.
While social platforms and government regulators try to compromise on what can and cannot be said, I’m choosing to share only positive vibes with the world.
Recent Realizations
I recently encountered a public Twitter “fight” between two people in our local startup community. There were claims of right and wrong treatment, with more comments and retweets from each side’s followers lobbed in. A nuanced disagreement came down to a handful of characters and characterizations. Something usually settled with a personal phone call became more like a schoolyard shoving match with classmates cheering, “Fight! Fight!”
I watched and wondered…Why? Why are two leaders who have always been positive forces in and regularly give back to the community choosing to put a private spat out for public consumption—to be indexed and searchable forever?
But it’s happening all around us. As I write this, Russell Crowe is causing a Tweet storm by the younger generation because a stranger said he didn’t like a movie he made in 2003; people are making fun of the My Pillow guy; and venture capitalists are arguing about which pithy pitch tip is most valuable. That’s just the first page of my Twitter feed.
Sadly, I fear we’ve been programmed to behave this way because we often see it happen. Social research confirms that in new realms, we take cues from others and model our behavior accordingly. Meanwhile, the social platforms we use write rules that further reward negativity. They offer the endorphin rush of retweets, likes, and shares for content and comments that engage others and promote the most active discussions—which are often the snarky digs and angry diatribes.
I startled myself recently by re-visiting an old Tweet of mine. When following a link to a piece of startup advice, I noticed that a leading founder and investor had blocked my account. That was my first, and I couldn’t recall encountering the gentleman in any setting. With a bit of sleuthing, I discovered a 19-month-old response I made to what I felt was an insensitive comment about Uber drivers.
Looking back on that now, I feel foolish. It’s not that I feel differently about his comment or that I’m worried I won’t get funding for my venture from him someday. What seems silly is thinking that I can change any minds with a Tweet. Why was it even worth my time weighing in and then continuing to reply? That’s not the man I want to look at in the mirror daily.
Some Solutions to Negativity
It’s natural for humans to want to share our thoughts, experiences, and feelings with each other, and social media is a fantastic platform. Even complaints have some value: They serve as a warning to others, and it can feel cathartic to tell the world how pissed you are at the jerk down the street or the guy in public office. But today’s world has too much negative energy, too much doom-scrolling, too many cheers to “fight” for our side on the playground.
I’ve decided to take all this as a sign that I must change how I share thoughts and ideas with the world. So here’s a few things I’m committing to:
Positive Social Vibes Only - I will only post, retweet, share, or like positive messages on social media. Each of us is a network node, and when we transmit a message, it impacts us, even if only one person encounters it. So, that harmless complaint or angry retweet gathers some steam when you click the share button. But that can be used equally for good. It doesn’t mean I’ll only share photos of cute dogs and inspirational quotes. Instead, I will filter my feed and myself for things that make us all better. Already I feel that by looking for the positives I’m appreciating more of the people and world around us, both online and IRL.
Writing > Posting - One of my biggest frustrations with social media, especially Twitter, is that I go to it in search of intelligent thinking and analysis from leading people, yet too often, they provide mere “hot takes” that lack true insight and analysis. The world is too messy for 140 characters, and many intelligent people sound pretty dumb when they speak in sound bites. That’s why I spend more time with leaders who write essays or record interviews. I’ve subscribed to several on Medium and Substack, including some I pay monthly. This is also why I’m writing consistently here again. I want people to judge my full thoughts on a topic, not just thumbs-up a winning witticism.
This means some new habits for me, and thankfully, I’ve got some social support to keep me on track. A few friends feel similarly, and we try to keep each other positive. I’m using my personal journal to record negative thoughts and feelings and meditation to analyze why I feel the way I do. And, dear reader, by writing this very post, I’m publicly committing to changing my habit. So keep me honest and join me if you’re up for it!
I don’t know what’s next for Twitter moderation or the Facebook news feed, and I certainly can’t do much to control that. However, one thing I can choose to control is how I touch the world through social channels. Every voice is powerful—how will you choose to use your voice?
OK, here are some insights from my present self looking back on this:
Overall, I stuck to this new habit very well. When I share something publicly, I now pause and consciously choose whether and what to post. Usually, I don’t post at all.
Platform-wise, I left Twitter long before it became X. I use Facebook and Instagram only when people send links of interest. As seen in my Cool Content of the Week below, the social platforms are becoming much less “social” anyway.
On the other hand, I’ve tripled down on my writing and reading on Substack. From what I see, most active Substack users are thoughtful writers, and there is healthy peer pressure to be much more positive.
Speaking of positive, let me praise YouTube. I’m spending more time on this platform now and found very few negative comments. I think this is a function of (1) attracting people who are passionate about the kinds of hobby-related videos I watch, (2) YouTube has used its downvote option to allow the community to weed out garbage comments, and (3) its algorithm does not depend on generating fast-twitch controversy.
My biggest realization in re-reading this is that I must work harder to bring “only positive vibes” into my real-life social interactions. What use is it to complain when speaking with others? It’s mainly harmless to whine about the weather or complain about some bad luck or mistreatment. But we need more positivity in our world. Friends, please call me out when I go negative! That said, I will continue to tell real-life stories here and sometimes call out people and situations that were/are negative. But I hope to share this in a spirit of warning and love. Peace!
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BONUS: Cool Content of the Week
A little something I found meaningful. You might agree…
Social Media Isn’t Social Anymore…and that’s a good thing
I’ve been involved in the business of “social media” since the first blogs and message boards arrived on the Internet in the late ‘90s. Looking back, it’s fascinating to see the big picture. Like any hype cycle, there was giddy excitement, followed by great disappointment, and now what seems to be stability.
In her recent Substack piece, “Is the end of social media near?”, Marloes De Vries summarizes what I think is the growing consensus: Social media isn’t social anymore.
One can see this in a few ways. First, creating new media formats like video is more challenging, so fewer people share new posts. Second, all social platforms have adjusted their algorithms to show you more “best of” content than what your friends are up to.
So, these platforms are just media channels now. That’s fine! The social part got too weird anyway…and society is adjusting as it always does. I think we are learning to fulfill our social needs in better ways, where we control access and don’t rely on algorithms—for example, group texts, slack channels, and virtual Zoom beers. And let’s not forget in-person drinks, coffees, meals, offsites, and industry conferences. Humans get distracted with new shiny objects, but we almost always revert to what works best.