I Decided Not to Share My Thoughts

A reminder to seek and trust those with the courage to disagree

After spending many weeks observing and analyzing the U.S. election, I woke up this morning with an amazing “aha!” and couldn’t wait to start writing. I wrote with deep reflection on my life, with a broader theme for all of humanity. I pulled in perspective from history books and deep research. I felt my post would shed meaning on the partisan strife that we’ve all experienced, and bring lessons for how we can make better choices in our lives.

Then I trashed it…

With a smile of satisfaction I shared a draft of my post with a handful of good friends on my Hearty list. It has become second nature for me to seek input from other people before I put something important out into the world. Upon sharing drafts of my work, I usually get some good suggestions for improvements and a few proofing catches.

But this time someone suggested that I not publish the piece at all. He took the time on a Sunday afternoon to write a strategic and thoughtful response about how my words could cause friction at a sensitive time. He said that while the content was strong, it may create ill will. He was not personally offended, and agreed with my overall point. But he feared that people who do not know me might read this out-of-context and react emotionally when that was not my purpose.

So I trashed the post.

…And I’m happy about that

This is an example of the power of a trusted, diverse network of people who care about you. We are so much better when we have people in our lives who have the courage to question our judgment and disagree—especially around an issue in which you have real passion.

This is a slice of what Hearty is about: Drawing power from the crew of people that you can count on through thick and thin. It’s why we’re excited to be building a product that can help great people discover and partner with each other much easier than ever.

This was also a test for me. I spent a lot of time and energy writing that post, and wrote it because I believed it could positively impact a lot of people. My knee-jerk response may have been to blow off his feedback, or even to angrily defend it. Instead I read, considered his and others’ feelings, and decided that these were valid concerns. Fortunately I’ve learned—mainly through mistakes—that successful communication comes from listening to others and considering how your message will be received.

So thank you, dear friend, for taking the courage and time to disagree. One more lesson: Next time I’ll probably share my ideas in concept form, so that I don’t waste so much time on something that I end up trashing!