Lessons on Coaching People
Meredith Meyer and I share what's worked in helping others--and ourselves
Welcome back to The Workaround. I’m Bob 👋
You’re in good company with thousands of fellow entrepreneurs and innovators who follow my stories from a career in tech startups and corporate innovation.
I’m here to make you think, smile, and discover a shortcut to success or a trap to avoid.
You can listen by hitting the play button above or using your favorite podcast app. Watch me speak and share silly images on my YouTube channel for more fun.
I’m excited to share the next podcast episode in my series of conversations with interesting people on topics where business and life intersect.
My discussion partner this week, Meredith Meyer, is CEO and Lead Consultant of Infinite Potential, LLC, where she provides strategy and talent consulting services. I first met Meredith over 20 years ago, when we were both assistant brand managers on Tide at Procter & Gamble. Since then, she has spent a career moving from marketing and brand roles to people leadership at software companies.
I walk away with an insightful perspective and a big smile whenever I meet with Meredith. So this time, we decided to record ourselves and stick to a topic: Lessons we’ve learned from coaching people.
Here’s a summary, a teaser, an amuse-bouche to get you to hit the play button above ^^^ or see our faces on YouTube.
Unlock their Best Work
“The worst sin of leadership is telling people what to do.”
If there’s a first principle you have to buy into in coaching, it’s that your job is to help people do their jobs. Meredith learned this in her role in a large but lean-running global software company. She and her teams focused on helping people solve their own problems.
Meredith describes how perks and programs often waste money and time. People gain great satisfaction from doing their work—without fear, with people they trust, and without bureaucracy getting in the way.
We Have a Lot to Say About Ego
In her coaching work, Meredith often works with senior executives in their 40s and 50s who are struggling to figure out what’s next in their careers. It helps that she’s gone through this process herself…
Meredith describes how she eventually resigned from her big company and title and faced a painful challenge to her ego. “You spend the first half of your life proving yourself, then you start asking ‘What’s it all about?’ Then it’s an act of violence to unravel that.” It’s a shift from providing something to others to “figuring out what I’m capable of and what motivates my inner self.”
Regular readers know I’m a big fan of understanding how the ego works for and against us. We discussed how growth at this stage in our lives comes from chipping away at all the walls we’ve built to create a separate self. It’s not easy, and it takes many years. But it’s better than the alternative: living a false life focused on pleasing others.
Less Ego = More Availability
The best coaches have done the work on themselves first.
As we better manage our egos, we become less consumed with ourselves and break down the walls we’ve erected to keep others out. This allows us to be more available to listen, understand, and help our teams and clients succeed.
Often, this involves noticing—and gently pointing out—the unproductive narratives that people tell themselves. Phrases like “I guess it’s my ego…imposter syndrome…worry about what others think” are significant clues we frequently hear.
We talked about how these coaching discussions are incredibly meaningful. You can see people change their entire mindset right before your eyes. Sometimes, one or both of you cry in the process. Your handful of words can change their entire life direction and level of happiness. No KPI is big enough to measure this kind of impact.
But these crucial conversations can be draining. Don’t schedule them back-to-back!
Don’t Bias Their Actions
A few months ago, Meredith and I got together for coffee. I started the conversation by admitting my worry that I’ve been leading people down an entrepreneurial path when they ask me for advice. My bias is to encourage people to take these leaps and ignore the risks. But I’ve begun to wonder if my words are leading people to do something that’s not a true fit for them. Entrepreneurship ain’t easy!
Meredith described then—and again in our discussion here—that, yep, I got her pumped up about starting her own business. “I left our meeting thinking, ‘Bob believes in me.’”
So, I’m working on holding back my biases when people ask for my advice. Now, in these discussions, I try to keep a looping reminder in my head: “Listen for what they need.”
However, I will keep sharing my stories here—biases included. These experiences are what made me. It’s up to you, dear reader/listener/viewer, to decide if what I say is relevant to your journey.
But when you click on my Office Hours link to schedule time, I promise I’ll pay closer attention to how I can help you best.
To enjoy the whole chat, hit the play button above, subscribe to the podcast on Apple or Spotify, or watch us below on YouTube!
(insert video link)
Helpful links:
Leading as a Human (Meredith’s Substack)
Brene Brown, The Midlife Unraveling
Carl Rogers, On Becoming A Person: A Therapist's View on Psychotherapy, Humanistic Psychology, and the Path to Personal Growth
If you like my writing, feel free to click the ❤️ or 🔄 button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏
How we might work together…
Fleet is our holding company for services businesses. We invest in leaders who are ready to start their own companies (we also do some M&A). If this might be you, hit my Office Hours link.
A2 Influence is our content development agency that helps some of the biggest brands and retailers create and distribute authentic content at scale, including social+influencer. CEO Rob Reinfeld would love to share our approach.
Revelin is our consulting practice that helps with revenue alignment, growth management, and other RevOps functions. CEO Jess Shuman is standing by to share a no-cost assessment of your business.
Shipwright Studio is our software development agency led by Ross Lewellyn, a CTO who has led multiple successful startups. He loves helping turn your dreams into reality, and our clients trust us for software built to last.
Hearty is our boutique recruiting service. Our difference is that you get C-level partners—including me!—to source and screen, resulting in killer talent in less time. When you’re ready, let’s chat.
Feel free to schedule a chat during my Office Hours to discuss questions, feedback, networking, or any other topic. Seriously, any topic! You can also reach me on LinkedIn or by email.
BONUS: Cool Content of the Week
A little something I found meaningful. You might agree…
Personality Isn’t Permanent
In 2022 and again just last week, I took the Big 5 Personality test. It’s not the buzz-iest workplace personality test, but it is the most used by scientists in research. And you can take a free, non-spam, pro-privacy version here in a few minutes.
Interestingly, I scored higher on all measures this time compared to three years ago. I’m not too surprised because I recently read the book Personality Isn't Permanent: Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs and Rewrite Your Story.
This book offers convincing evidence that we can change our personality for the better and many tips and resources to help make it happen. I highlighted 189 passages in my Kindle version of the book, which is on the high side for me. Here’s my favorite:
“Anyone who’s ever done something great with their life had to transform themselves from who they were to who they became.”
I've been having the same thought/realization lately after many years of encouraging people to jump in, leave their old limits behind, and make a contribution they've dreamed of—but it's really not always the best move to just jump without preparation or some education about the implications. A tremendous amount of skill building is necessary to make that work and its best to plan ahead and go slow, while at the same time celebrating the entrepreneurial impulse and spirit.