Maybe it’s the mediation working. Or a result of being burned out from Zoom. And just maybe it’s a result of getting older and finally a bit wiser. No matter the cause, over the past few weeks I’ve been going into business-related meetings with no agenda—and coming out with stronger outcomes and more positive feelings than ever before.
When I say “no agenda” I don’t mean that there’s not a purpose of the meeting or something that I’m trying to accomplish. It’s more that I’m pulling my foot off the gas going into a discussion and letting things happen.
As I work on our new startup I have a lot of flashbacks to the old one. At this stage last time—9 years ago—I was intensely focused on getting the sale, the investment, or the partnership. I would gear up with talking points, feel stress going in, and be exhausted afterwards, even when things went well.
Looking back, I think I brought that mentality to a great many meetings, including some 1-on-1s with direct reports and even over beers with friends. “What’s our purpose? What do we need to cover? We good? OK, see ya next time…”
Starting Over Forces Introspection
But starting a company again is a time when you can reset a lot of old habits and processes. In fact, a big driver for us in this new venture is to apply lessons we learned from making mistakes last time.
First, we are listening to our customers much more and giving our product room to evolve based on how they use it and what they ask for. Last time we had a very specific idea and trumpeted to the world that this was the greatest idea ever. As a result, we failed to adjust to market realities and further convinced ourselves of our awesomeness with every passionate pitch.
Second, we are putting less pressure on ourselves to immediately grow and scale. In my last startup we raised too much money and hired too many people way too soon. That meant we had to generate revenue quickly, which meant each sales pitch felt like a do-or-die situation. We needed to show hockey stick growth to meet investors’ expectations so that we could raise our next round of financing.
But this time we’ve raised a smaller amount to fund our very small team and give ourselves a long time to build the right product. We’ve gone in knowing that it will take a lot of trial and error to get to product-market fit.
A New Attitude
My meetings with people today are a mix of things. Some are individuals or groups that I’m sharing our app with. Other meetings are people trying to sell something to me. And I take meetings with potential investors and industry partners. Instead of going in with that specific agenda and hoped-for outcomes, I’ve got a new pre-meeting mantra that goes something like this:
All people are interesting - Everyone you meet is a one-of-a-kind “mineral” that has a shine of its own. We all have a story and each person is a puzzle. It is increasingly fun for me to just observe how we behave together.
What can I learn? - Each person I meet will have thoughts, opinions and reactions that can be useful. All news is good, and everything said is a data point that helps me understand the world better.
What will be will be - My product and my POV is something I’m proud of and excited about, but it’s not for everyone and subject to change. I should simply share it, shut up, and let it sell itself—or not. Maybe we should work together, or maybe it’s not a fit. That’s fine!
A funny thing has happened for me as I’ve gone into meetings with this mantra but without an “agenda”: I’m having much better meetings. Because I’m not trying to drive a discussion, push a sale or force through fifty slides, I have time to listen, think and learn. I’m coming away from half-hour pitches with a page of insights and ideas.
And I feel re-energized after meetings that used to suck the life out of me. Even through video I feel I’m making more real human connections than I used to. There’s more smiles and laughter.
Finally, I suspect that I’m actually more convincing in sharing my product or perspective because I’m now more confident and relaxed. People trust me more and appreciate someone paying attention and listening in this fast-pace world of distraction.
Maybe if we all take this approach more often we’ll start looking forward to more meetings. Give it a try this week and let me know how it works for you!